The Diamond's Curse (Work-In-Progress!)

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The Diamond's Curse (Work-In-Progress!)

Post by KiloSasha on Wed Oct 14, 2015 4:11 pm

Prologue: Constant Memory

Mostly all living creatures on this planet has experienced an event that became just one of their memories inside their minds. Humans are able to experience both tragic and unforgettable events in our lives. We remember the little things in life, whether its your wedding day or the day a loved one dies, humans and my kind use around the same amount of emotions reacting to them. Unfortunately for me, one event from the past where other memories don't exist haunts me each and every day. The past when I was just a mere, innocent little girl of 5.

Innocence. I dream each night of the memory of my father's gigantic, foolish mistake - the day in which my innocence wasn't counted before punishment was given to me when I had nothing to do with what caused it. For 7 generations, the future Alphas of our pack remained the oldest offspring of the current Alphas. My father took over for his father who took it over for his father and so on. That pattern continued for 7 generations - but now that pattern was broken when my father traded in his leadership status in which our pack needed more than oxygen to breathe in order for him to live alongside humans.

My younger brother took over for him, but my father's sister, the pack's "witch" in other terms, forced her hatred of my father on me. My own aunt laid a very powerful curse on me. A curse in which a blood-red colored diamond was practically my heart. If anything happened to it, my existence will end. So I was forced to carry it with me wherever I went. But the diamond had a curse on me as well. Since all pure-blooded werewolves like myself are able to have a human form and a wolf form, my diamond only allowed me to have one. Even when I shift into my human form, there are still parts of my body in which my wolf parts remained.

My tail, my ears, my fangs, my red eyes, they all remained constant no matter what I did. My aunt cursed me so I didn't walk down the same path my father strode down. I wasn't allowed outside our pack's territory because of my brother's law. He declared that law in order to protect me from human discovering my true self. In which that law states, I'm the only pure-blooded werewolf who is never permitted to leaving the pack's territory.

But I wanted my freedom. I wanted to see the world outside my law's barrier. And when I finally decided to leave my pack behind me, I made the strange decision of learning more about these humans. I wanted to know why my father left his dream life as Alpha male to living in houses and not using his wolf-like abilities to accomplish anything. When all the rest of the pack was asleep, I snuck out of the pack's territory and headed towards the closest human town. A large village smack in the bottom of a valley called Shadowhill Village.

However, the distance between the pack territory and the human town meant the trip was almost 3 days' time.

Last edited by KiloSasha on Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

If she live long,
and in the end meet the old course of death,
Women will all turn monsters.
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Re: The Diamond's Curse (Work-In-Progress!)

Post by The Lord Regent on Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:42 am

It's a good premise but if I may give my imput "mostly" in your opening line would probably flow better as "almost" you, and you could probably stand to let more of the main character's thpughts and feelings shine through, for instance instead of just "my own aunt", you could try "My traitorous hag of aunt" or "my admittedly pretty terrible aunt" or something like that to give the narrator a bit more personality by presenting her personal views within the tone of the writing instead of always stating them outright

Feel free to disregard this, these are just some suggestions I felt like giving. I'm digging it though it's pretty cool
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