The Turner Saga

I can't help but think that you guys are going to find this a bit underwhelming but since Koyu was asking about my life, here it is''

I'm going to start by posting about my life before I found myself dirt poor living in Richmond Virginia with my father, my little brother and his psycho mother who peed on the table . So without further adieu I present to whoever is curious... some ramblings my childhood


I was born in Arlington Texas; Even in my earliest memories my parents were divorced, but they were never distant from each other sand I saw them both quite a bit (I would later find out that was because they were **** buddies for quite some time after they were divorced). Anyway my mom held a job but could never really take care of herself on her own so I grew up living in a house with her and my grandparents in a small town called Mansfield which was the middle of nowhere at the time but eventually grew up to a good sized town, but that isn't really important. I lived their until I was about nine I never really made any good friends there, but I never went hungry and we lived in a good sized house, I also ended up adopting a couple stray dogs, only one stayed with us though, some others died because of coyotes and people running them over and stuff. I named the one we kept Flash after my favorite movie as a child "Flash Gordon". I took care of the dog for about two years; then a couple weeks before my ninth birthday he turned on me and bit a chunk of my face off. I ran for the porch and the backdoor to my house he was running after me barking and biting at my leg although he didn't get me. When I reached the door it was locked; Scared shitless of the dog barking and snapping at me I picked up my baseball bat, which was lying on the porch and started to hit him with it until he ran off. Eventually my grandfather found me on the back porch crying with a bleeding hole in my face and he took me to the hospital to get it stitched. My father was angrier than I had ever seen him, he was straight up threatening to kill my grandfather for letting me take some wild dog off the street. Well I was planning to move in with my dad in a couple years anyway, so my mom managed to appease him by letting me go live with him immediately, the day I found out I was moving in with my dad was the happiest day of my life. You see my father and I had always had a special bond while my mother had a tendency to beat me with her fists, and when I would try to fight back she would call my father or grandfather, make up a story and they would give me a spanking.

So not long after I moved into an apartment with my dad, and promptly began having Grand mal Seizures. Now as a nine year old I had no idea how to deal with such things, I was just not mentally equipped for what was happening to me. If you don't know what a Grand Mal seizure is it's almost indescribable, mine were brief; under a minute usually, but particularly intense. The best way I can describe it is every muscle in your body contracting rapidly and violently. You can't really move, you can't even breathe then after extreme agony your eyes roll back into your head, and you pass out, and in my case i'd always wonder if I was dead until I heard the sound of my body gasping for air and I would very slowly regain consciousness and control of my body.


So that happened and that really sucked I lived in fear of my Epilepsy, of this specter of seizures that I was powerless to stop, My family tried medicating it but the medication had side affects that caused me to feel extreme irrational anger (more so than usual I mean lol) It took me a good many years to come to terms with this, but eventually I learned that were somethings I just couldn't control and I couldn't let those things get to me. It is human nature to wory about things we cannot control, but it Is imperative that we cannot. My father actually drove this point home with me with the paraphrasing of a quote from the 2002 movie based on the book The count of monte cristo, and I mention it because it became a theme in the way I dealt with fear.

"Life is a storm. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout. Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you"


One more facet of my early life that I have neglected to this point is my social life so i'm going to go ahead and talk about my social life from 9 to 13. I was very much considered a problem kid at school, I would fight at the drop of a hat, and I don't mean that as a figurative statement I literally hit a guy with a chair for knocking off my Fedora (A hat type I still love). I didn't have a lot of friends either, I was the weird kid with no sense of style a bad temper, and a dreaded Fun reader, Everyone also thought I was kinda snobby and thought I was better than them because I never really initiated conversations with anyone, but I was just shy (Still kinda am that last part). I was in fifth grade before I made my first real friend. He was kind of a mild mannered guy who got pushed around a lot, he was very sheltered and he wouldn't cuss, pretty much my exact opposite in many ways, he was extremely smart though, and as it turned out we read a lot of the same books. We did pretty much everything together, I went to his house to hang out every day after school until I turned 13. At the end of my eighth grade year though. This part is something that is hard for me to admit, because I am still ashamed of this, and i'm not even going to go into detail on this, because it's difficult for me too explain, and I really don't like to think about it these days. At the end of my eighth grade year I found out he was petrified of me, because I had been bullying him in a way, things that to my other friends were just teasing and horsing around actually caused him quite a bit of pain and stress. I wish he had told me this, because he was a great friend for quite a few years, the kind of guy I would have taken a bullet for, but he never did and I never picked up on it until I already had caused him a lot of pain. I would not see him again to apologize because I would leave the state soon after.


The summer after my eighth grade year was when my whole life went through yet another change, my father got into a business deal with his mother, long story short she screwed him, and he lost the house and a substantial amount of money, which led to him accepting a job as a warehouse manager in Virginia that would pay him for relocate so we could afford a shitty apartment to live in.



To be continued in angsty teenage ramblings the Angstenning

Wow, that is some s*** you've had to go through with. I really can't say much, I'm not the kinda person to try make you cheer up or any of the sort. I mean, who knows? Maybe you don't need pity from others, perhaps you are determined to go forward despite these events. I don't know how other people think, but it is quite brave to put this story of your life so public where any one who stumbles here may see it.

This is just part one

Well sure but that is already some tough s*** you know? I had a 9-year old cousin who's parents both did a suicide (yes my bloodline is full of psychos not the first time) and I know a few people who have some other kinda stuff going on that I can't decide what is the worst scenario to be in.